May 26, 2012

God is so good to me...

...that is what is on my mind right now.

Maddie loves playing a game on the computer that teaches you to type using the proper finger positions.  Jake loves all things Maddie.

May 15, 2012


My journal entry for today...
In my morning reading spot where I was writing in here just three short days ago, I pull out the tray I use to set on the ottoman for my coffee and see a few scraps of the tissue paper from Maddie's Mother's Day gift.  Sunday morning, in this same spot, I was praying for Maddie and how we would tell her we needed to test her and thought she might have type 1 diabetes like Sam.  I prayed she would come down here so I could talk to her alone before anyone else woke up.  She never gets up before Jake and never comes down early like he often does.  But on Sunday she did.  She was so excited to give me my Mother's Day gift.  She made a card with words for each letter of my name a vase she made at school wrapped in the tissue paper.  I pulled her on my lap and opened my gift.  Then I told her daddy wanted to check her blood sugar this morning.  I know panic rushed through her.  From Sam she knows what that means.  She started asking why so I told her how he just wanted to check since she had been very thirsty lately.  She kept asking if Sam or I thought she had diabetes.  I had to tell her we did and we just needed to  check so she could get the medicine she needs.  I loved on her lots and told her we would all figure it out together.  Together we walked upstairs, woke Sam up and tested.  It was 321 and we knew.  Same talked to her a while about diabetes -- about how he, Ben and Granny have it and are still doing great.  She didn't cry (can't say the same about me) -- still hasn't -- but she looked worried and scared.  Jake eventually woke up and joined us in our bed.  Sam even tested his blood so he could be part of it.  Sam called the ped and we were told to meet them at Wolfson's Children's Hospital ER.  We took our time getting ready and packing our things to go.  We weren't sure how long we would be there.  She was so brave and tough the entire time.  As much as I was trying not to be emotional or cry, I had several bad moments.  I hated it because I knew it would make her think I was worried or scared, which would scare her.  I know God has a good plan for Maddie and is in control.  Maddie and I even talked about it that Sunday morning on my lap before we went up to test.  I need to keep finding my comport and peace in God.  I kneed to make that intentional.  To not try to control and worry about things I can't control.  To not try to think far into the future for now.

May 13, 2012

Not the Mother's Day we Planned

Getting ready for a sleepover with Maddie at Wolfson's. She was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes this morning. I'm so grateful I KNOW God has a good plan for her, for awesome friends & family to pray for her, and for lots of good diabetes mentors in the family (including her dad, uncle and granny).

Here was my journal entry from Mother's Day morning:
Up bright and early this Sunday  morning with tears in my eyes.  We are pretty sure (Sam is positive) that Maddie has type 1 diabetes like him.  She has been looking really thin and has been drinking water non-stop all day/night yesterday.  We plan to test her blood when she wakes up and then call the ped to see where to go from here.  I am just praying God has a huge calm come over her to not be afraid and to know He and all of us will take care of her.
I know we will have a lot of rough times ahead learning the ropes and getting everything worked out with insulin.  I pray we will draw closer to God and lean on him and feel his hand on everything.  I am so thankful that both Sam and I rely on God and trust God has a good plan for Maddie in this.  Let us feel that, live it out and give God glory.  Let it be genuine for me and Sam, not just what we think we should say or feel.  Please give Maddie peace and comfort in this.  Please give us words and actions to grow her faith -- and ours -- through this.  I'm such an emotional person and I pray I can hold it together and not cry over everything. Please God, help me there.  I want to be strong -- in my head I am -- I just cry when overwhelmed and nervous.  I don't want that to be an outward sign of lack of faith because I 100% believe God will be with us and for us through it all. 
Please help us find the right doc, specialists and treatment plans for Maddie.  Please accelerate the cure for diabetes.
I've been feeling for some time that I was being prepared to go through something.  I thought it would be a health thing with me (and it still may be).  God let me not waste any of it.  Let us grow, strengthen our faith, strengthen our love, prove to be genuine and obedient.  Let us see you.  Let us grow closer as a family.  Give us unity in decisions.  Have your hand firmly on our decisions.
Sam and the kids Mother's Day Eve at Cheesecake factory: